Second Rehearsal

This is what I wrote on the way home today. It was sent at 5:46 PM...

First, let me clarify something about yesterday's first rehearsal; it scared the hell outta me. I was unsure of what I was doing, if this show was really for me, etc. I was completely unnerved.

That being said, I am writing this from the bus on the way home from the second rehearsal.I have never had this much fun in my entire life. Ever! The entire experience was so emotionally freeing. I could feel my boundaries melting away with my insecurities. Mike, the director, was able to draw things out of me that I never knew were there. I was open and mostly uninhibited.
Then something miraculous happened- I relaxed. I laughed. I made friends and had a good time all in 1 rehearsal. I'm dreading the next 5 days because they're filled with boring work & not rehearsal. I finally feel alive on stage & not terrified.

I was funny. I made people laugh.

While this is all fine & dandy, it is also highly narcissistic. I acknowledge that. The work that I'm doing now has to be like that for a moment. This has to be about me loosening up, taking risks, & not caring about anything else.

This feels like a big acting class. I feel like a kid playing make believe again.

I'm remembering why I became an actor. And it's magical.